What happens to far too many many emotionally healthy boys when adolescence hits? In a few short years they transform from trusting, caring and loving teens into macho posers, lonely and fronting in attempts to be masculine. The costs are profound, at the individual and societal levels. While many might recognize the changes in teen boys, Niobe Way, developmental psychologist, has researched it and truly knows what is happening. Her extremely provocative and thoughtful book – Rebels With a Cause – offers a clear account of the phenomenon as well as strategies to address the challenge. She offers us understanding and actionable scholarship, grounded in the real world.
The first part of the book focuses on capturing the voices of boys and young men. Way and her team are skilled interviewers, able to go deep into capturing the “thick” stories of their subjects. These are the narratives that reveal more foundational feelings, fears and hopes. Teens talk with Way and her team about friendships, family, vulnerability and identity. She frames the investigation through exploration of the many ways that gender identities and expectations constrain and direct identities. Further, the gender stereotypes hinder our abilities to communicate honestly with each each other. The stories are very engaging. No abstract clinician, Way’s humanity and warmth colors the text. It is clear that she deeply cares about these people.
Mixing academic research from a range of disciplines with references to contemporary culture, Way’s prose contextualizes the narratives of her subjects. The writing is accessible. We develop as humans within structures (think family, friends, best friends, school). The boys in the study enter adolescence with awareness of the deep value of close friendships. Through time, relationships, peer pressure and other challenges, these connections drift away. Boy culture insists on heteronormativity. Not all play by the rules, to be sure, and Way is careful to include examples that are able to navigate these straits differently. She draws connections, too, to the horrendous violence that often is caused by lonely young men. The voices of these damaged individuals also need to be understood. Way argues that the culture may exacerbate problems. Her examination of a manifesto written Troy, a young man who murdered people and killed himself, is nuanced and haunting.
Way’s proposed solutions are compelling, drawing on her personal experience as a parent, teacher and scholar. Her course, The Science of Human Connection, is fascinating and part of a larger effort that she has created. Way describes several ways of approaching the issue. Her solutions, at their more foundational level, are about “listening with curiosity to make a more caring, connected, and just world.” It makes great sense, for deep communication with each other affirms our own sense of self. Way’s ideas also mirror many of the suggestions that one finds in studies about how to establish healthy civic culture. Perhaps it is time to acknowledge that our real selves our selves in community?
By default, Rebels With a Cause is a book that speaks to those interested in psychology and human development. I would suggest that those in education across the disciplines also make time to read it. The book helps explain much about our students and their worlds. It also puts forth an outstanding array of ways to teach, support and understand our students. And each other. That is much needed.
David Potash